Spice it up Pt 1.

Unless you are A sexual (Asexuals, while lacking in sexual desire for any gender, may engage in purely emotional romantic relationships), you will love sex, you require sex, and if you cannot get it, you will masturbate or use devices to help you reach your orgasm.

Since not everyone has the same sexual peak as their partner, or have different fetishes, needs, desires, people will bend, experiment and sometimes dive right into uncharted waters to please their partner or themselves. 

There are so many different fetishes in the world it may be hard to find them all, but I will touch on the major ones. 

First, there are the different types of relationships. All are amazing, and all depend on each couple. There is your basic monogamous relationship.  Just 2 people who don't want anyone else to touch their partner. Many times if you are in one of these relationships, you tend to experiment with toys, porn, BDSM, and other ideas and ways to keep things fresh and hot. 

Whether you are together for 1 month or 20 years, sex is a very important part of a relationship. If you are not having sex, you are pretty much just good friends. ***If you are a couple who is waiting till marriage then ignore what I just said, once you are married THEN it will be a very important part of your relationship.*** If you are not having sex, or if one of you is not getting enough sex, they will go somewhere else for it. Which opens up the Open Relationships, Polyamory, or cheating. 

Since many people have a jealous side to them, the open relationship or polyamory does not really work for some people. Which is why cheating tends to happen quite a bit, in dating and marriages. 

People always blame the cheater. I do not always agree with this. Why do people cheat? One of the main reasons, SEX. 

Not getting any sex at home, not getting good sex at home, or just tired of their partner. 

Yes, they should speak to their partner before they go into the cheating stage, but many people do not know they are going to cheat till an opportunity hits.

One main thing I know about woman. If they find a guy who can give them an orgasm and can keep up with their sex schedule, then they will keep the man pretty much forever. 

I am unable to speak for men, but for many it is mostly about sex, not emotion. 

This can be the same for woman as well. 

Sometimes, it is just sex. 

Keeping things fresh in any relationship is key to a happy marriage. 

Sex in different locations in the home. One of my personal favorites is shower/Jacuzzi sex. So fucking hot. You are already clean, or you will be, the water is warm, hands are everywhere, cock pounding into you as you grab onto the shower curtain or if you have handles for better sex (available in most sex shops) for the bathroom. Not to mention the echo, extra sounds of hot chick sex. Rawr. Plus you can have sex in there any day of the week, any time of the month.

-Sex on the couch, or bending over the couch, if you have one like mine, if you bend over it is perfect level for doggy style.
-Sex in the kitchen, yummy honey or whip cream, jam, chocolate or caramel drizzle so close to your fingertips. MMMM I love playing find the honey! 

Have you ever heard of it? You close your eyes, your partner dabs honey on different parts of their naked body, then you open your eyes and you have to find it, but you can only use your tongue. OMG just sexy hot. I always put extra on my cunt, suck and lick me to an orgasm, so hot. 

-If you have a computer desk, your partner can surf the net, play video games, watch porn, while you sit under the desk and give them amazing oral sex.

-On the Washer/Dryer always fun, especially if they vibrate. 

-For me, I have a pole for pole dancing, which I love and cannot get enough of, not just for sexy fun times but also for exercise. I love holding onto it and wrapping my legs around my guy and getting fucked so hard. So good, plus you get the slight drop to get in even deeper. 

-Then the obvious the bed, which you can get many different toys for. Sheets that have cuffs to tie your partner up. 

Then there are the toys and extra fun things to use no matter where you are in the home. 

Toys can include:

Lubes. Dildos. Vibrators. Couples vibrators **We.Vibe is amazingly awesome! It stays in, comes with a remote if you get the newest one, rechargeable battery, and 6 different speeds, and great for alone time too.** Feather wands, paddles, belts, electrowands **absolutely crazy wands! Give you a slight shock, depending on your pain tolerance, just don’t put it down there unless you are prepared, wet makes it hurt more.** Anal plugs. Sexy Fetish Costumes. Animal Costumes.  Japanese Silk Rope **regular rope works too but may chafe.**  Knife Play.  BDSM. Master/Sub play.

Now, the above is for pretty much any type of couple out there. No matter if they are monogamous, polyamory or open. 

If you are one of the other 2 Main types, there are obviously sub types to both Poly and open relationships,  there are many other things you would do to spice up the relationship.  That will be in part 2.  

Good night everyone, and get your daily dose of sex or your mind will backup like RAM on a computer that has not been rebooted. 

With a partner?

There are many ways and reasons why people have sex.
For love, connection, revenge, anger, mourning, fun, closure, the list goes on and on.

When you are young, sex seems like it should be something magical. Reading female erotica novels, the author makes every single act of sex seem like it is a magical end of the world moment where you feel your soul connect with your partners.

Yes, this can be true, however only if you are truly in love with your partner.

Sex, just feels good! It reliefs tension, takes your mind away, also feels really, really amazing.

However, it is not always magical.

The first type of sex you will be involved in, for most people, will actually be between you and your first boy/girlfriend. It will be completely awkward if one of you doesn't know what you are doing. A blind leading the blind kind of moment. Fingers fumbling, faces red from slight embarrassment, a feeling of warm, tight, wetness, moaning, pain(if you are an inexperienced female) and done. All within about 1-5 minutes. Have to love the young inexperienced male genitalia. When all is said and done, not very magical, but, felt amazing if it lasted longer then 30 seconds. You start to get addicted to the feeling. The sheer ecstasy that comes from sex is a natural high that everyone can become addicted to.

After you have your first experience, hopefully it was with a slightly more experienced person then you, who can show you how it is done and can make your first time mind blowing. You have your other types of sex.

If your first time was when you got married, well after the awkward moments if you are both virgins, you will be taking any free moment for more sex. Ignoring friends, instead of going out spending hours and hours at home. In bed, in the kitchen, living room, office, perfecting the art of sex with that one partner. Obviously after a few months you will get tired of the usual sex, and want to experiment. Experimentation is AWESOME! But we will go into that later.

If your first time is with a boy/girlfriend and not when you are married, well, there will be LOTS of sex, and depending on age, hidden sex. In your car, at a friends place, in your room when your parents are gone, in a bush, at school, in a bathroom, in a club, elevator. When you are young and sometimes when you are older, sex anywhere is all you want. When you are addicted to sex and just want another fix, it does not matter how you look or where you are.

Of course, once or if you break up with your first partner, you will be devastated, especially if you are female. Some females have a tenancy to be emotionally connected to their partners  and do not see it as just sex. I say some, because sometimes, it is just sex, no emotional attachment, just 2 people scratching an itch.

Other then dating and married sex, there is the awesome "Random Partners" stage. A lot of people go through this stage between the ages for 16-30, and some, never stop until they die.

Whether it is friends who you only use for sex, "Fuck Buddies" or the random hookups in bars, once you start having sex, it is hard to stop. Most people do not do it willingly. More of a forced celibacy if you are one of the few who do not wish to have sex outside of having a long-term relationship.

I do applaud those who only have sex when they are in a relationship, they have the ability to keep it in their pants, though they probably have a lot of personal time with Mr Righty or Ms Vibrator. Shoot, I am in a relationship and I have a date with Ms vibe every day before bed.

However, do not mock/knock the fuck buddy/random hookup until you tried it. Not being connected to another person at the same time as being connected *hehe* to another person is, interesting. It is almost like using a real-life blowup doll, or a vibrator that also squeezes your tits. The best part about the random hookup, you do not have to fake the wanting to get to know someone, the cuddling afterwards, the should I stay or should I go conversation. Just get in, sate some animal urges and leave. Some people say that woman cannot separate sex from emotion. This is not true.

Sex can be just that, Sex. Even though we have evolved over the past thousand or so years, we are still pretty much set in our 3 basic needs. Eat. Sleep. Sex. Whether it is getting bashed over the head with a wooden mallet or being bought 10 shots of tequila, the end result will still be the same.

I personally love the Fuck Buddy.
A friend you can hang out with and have sex with! It is quite satisfying. You get the basic animal urges filled and also some slight emotional connection which is nice. However, if one person starts falling in love and the other person does not....End it. That however was not the case with me and my current man.

We met each other partially through a friend and partially at a industrial night club.
Started the sexting almost immediately. Boy can his mind go when he is texting.
This shit would give you lady wood and make you wet all at the same time.

"-I am going to suck your cunt and lap it up till you scream. My teeth biting and nipping at your thighs while I finger fuck you. Going from 2 to 3 fingers moving faster and faster. Sucking on your tits till you almost come then plunge my cock into your throbbing, wet pussy."

*Drool* And I have to say, was not disappointed.
The first time we physically hung out, which was about a week after we met, we waited until his friend left from a gaming session, he then unzipped his pants and forced my head down to his cock. Mmm nothing better then a forceful guy who knows what he wants. I happily gave him a blow job while he finger fucked me.
The man knows how I work.
It probably helped that he was just getting off his "Man whore" stage where he slept with almost anything female that moved.
Anyways, after that night, we pretty much did the hang out every few days. Fuck around. Play video games, chill out with his friends.
No dating, no I love yous, just gaming, chilling, drinking and fucking.

It was about, 9-10 months before we decided to actually start dating.  At that point, we pretty much were comfortable enough with each other and had feelings of, not wanting that person to touch someone else, that we figured we should try the dating thing.

Apparently it worked, we have been dating for...er...3ish years...I think, I am not much for keeping track of dates. I forgot my moms Bday was today...Thank god for facebook eh haha!

The point is, no matter how you do it, and no matter who you do it with. Sex is good.
That is all

Oh, and if you sleep around, use protection, I have a friend who actively sleeping around with people but has STDs.

Toys for One.

Since we are on the topic of pleasing ones self. 
Lets look into a few things that can help push it along. 


Obviously the first tool is getting yourself in the mood. 
Whether it is by reading erotica, watching video clips or movies, or using your own imagination.
By this point in your life, I would hope you know what can get you in the mood. 
From soft core, to hard core, girl on girl, boy on boy, three ways, orgies, S&M, beastiality ect. 


Personally, mine varies day to day, depending on what I am feeling. I start out at soft core, but that barely gets my heart pounding, going to some dirty three ways or S&M. My mind has yet to reach the animal stage, but that is where I drew my line. Personally, animals and defecation do not get my heart going all RAWR. However I am not mocking anyone who does, to each his own. 


After you figure out the thing(s) that make you all gooey, you need to find your tools of the trade.


The best tool in the world, will always be your hand. Good old righty or lefty. 
After asking around to friends, I have discovered a few objects that many people use, from items just around your home. 
-Vibrating toothbrush (most common)
-Vibrating shavers (I would be scared to try)
-Shower heads.
-Textured cloths.
-Hair brush handles.
-Ice cubes.
-Silk clothing.(Smooth and silky clothes are so amazing!)
-Socks.
-Stuffed animals.
-Certain types of veggies. (cucumbers, beware of carrots, they can actually puncture through the vaginal wall and cause internal bleeding.)
-EOS lipbalm (They are shaped like sex toys lol)
And so on. 
As you can tell, there are many things around the home that are free that you can use for your sexy fun times with yourself. 


Also, lubes or lube like products would be awesome, especially for men. 
Hand creams and some of the more sticky lubes can start to do this really gross dried skin ball effect going on. *Shudder* Anyways, if you are going to use hand lotion, use lots and don't use a heavy, sticky lotion, get a nice, light water based one. Same goes for lube. If it is just you time, you do not need a flavored one, or a sticky one.


For personal times, or when I am playing with my partner, I like to use JO Agape or Pjur Woman, flavorless ones that again, are purely for hands and toys. The best thing about the internet now a days, if you do not like going into sex shops, or have not found one that is clean and the shop keepers are not helpful, you can go online. 
They have all the products you could ever need, shipped in discrete packages, as long as you do not mind waiting the so many days for the products.
I have 3 different sex shops that I love going to. The workers are so nice and able to answer any question that I have. 


Now, that we have done free toys and lubricants, lets go into the paid toys. 


Starting with men.
Flesh lights, realistic asses/vagina, blowup dolls, even blowjob imitators! They have found so many wonderful ways to imitate female and male body parts and make them convenient and even travel size for the traveling man 
A few years ago, the TENGA was the top sex toy in Japan, It looks really funny, but apparently feels amazing. 


I don't know about you, but I have always wondered what it felt like to have a penis. I guess you could call it penis envy, I am going to call it penis curiosity. I just always wondered what it would feel like to have something warm and slightly tight wrapped around me. Mmm...


Anyways, on to female toys. 
The dildo or vibrating dildo are on the top list for alot of women.
I personally, do not like them much. I prefer the real thing inside me vs an imitation. 

I do however Adore little hand vibrators. RAWR!
They can fit in your purse or pocket, are very quiet, most are waterproof and can be very powerful!
In about 2-5 minutes you will be cumming your cares away.

This one site I use quite often, http://www.sex-toys-canada.com/vibrator.aspx not only has pretty much every toy available, for both men and woman and couples, but also gives a great little description so you know pretty much exactly what you are paying for and getting. 


From hand vibrators, DP(duel penitration) vibrators & strap-ons, waterproof vibrators, vibrating panties and even vibrating ducks for the bath and shower! 


What ever will float your boat and get you flying for the beginning of the morning, a pick me up in the afternoon or something to calm you down just before bed, you can get the most out of any toy or website. 


TIP: If you drive to work, or do not mind doing it in the bathroom or your office, a quickie with yourself, your hand or your little pocket friend, it really can help get rid of a lot of stress in the day. Just remember, if you are in a public area, bite your lip, noise is only for in the vehicle or at home, you don't want to be known as that person. 

Beginning of Self Pleasure.

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Before we begin.

Everyone is different.
That should be common knowledge at this point in everyone's life.
From how we see ourselves to personality to what we like to eat and feel.

I have discovered, through my travels and friends and work people. Sex is a very... controversial word, which in my opinion is sad.

If you want to go off of evolution or religion, either or will work.
Humans are here for pretty much 1 reason. Procreation.
Of course over the years we have kinda gone off course a bit.

From trying to make life easier, making things bigger and better. Bringing new ideas to life, and fighting for those ideas. War, death, destruction, recreation.

We are born with some of this ingrained in our genes, and others get placed into our mind over the years, through home life and social life. However, we all know one thing. We do not want to be alone.

Everyone craves a connection. We initially want a human connection, and depending on how our life is, we can get it pretty easily. Of course if things happen that cause us to not get it.

Born into a family that is broken is a main cause.  Whether it breaks after you are born or was already broken, you will crave feeling another person touching you. In any way, by paying for it, being paid for it, or just jumping from bed to bed. Searching for someone to fill that void that you have never gotten.

There is also the other side of things. The people those are born into a "perfect" family. Filled with love and attention. Only, the parents shelter their children from the ways of life. Not even allowing them to date till they are 18.

The main person who inspired my ranting is a very close friend. She was one of the sheltered. Her only interaction with men other then talking to them is reading about them in books.
She married a guy who is, like all men, very enthusiastic about sex. She is not. I am hoping that her reading this will help her out.